Why could people have the light at night? Why could people drive car instead of walking? Why could people fly in the sky? The following are obeisance by science and technology.
Science and technology developed to educate the convenience of present quickly. Foe example power plant, the running water handles factory, car, and airplane are all technological of development. Although science and technology brings our tremendous conveniences, it also broke our Earths gradually.
Science and technology progress is absolutely bad to the Earth. The Earth has been maintaining the balance of ecosystem for long time. Science and technology started progressing to open permafrost to consume to rob after the industrial revolution. The environmental breakage ecosystem consumes to rob now.
The mankind use science and technology completely to make a consideration with oneself. People can't consider a permafrost benefit of the earth. What to need to be talked is science and technology now good to mankind. A lot of people can't answer come out.
The green house effect has already caused rather great influence. We should thoroughly consider how to save the Earth and shouldn't break this Earth once and again.
Individual Student Report
Name : STUDENT09 AIRFORCE
Group/Class : Composition I
Assignment Name : Effects of Technology
Category of Prompt : Informative
Revision Number : 0
Start Date : 05/29/2007 09:21
Completion Date : 05/29/2007 10:15
Total Time Spent on This Essay : 53 Minutes 13 Seconds
Scores : 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4
Focus & Meaning
STUDENT09, on a scale of one to six, your response to this assignment was rated a 3 for focus. Focus relates to your ability to present a consistent, unified message and stay on topic.
Your focus is limited. Typically, a response at this level has a reasonably clear purpose evident, though the presentation may stray from the controlling point. The response may lack focus and cohesion.
STUDENT09, let's work on making your focus much clearer.
Revision Goal 1: State the central/controlling idea of your essay.
1. In your introduction, you should include one sentence that tells your reader what your essay will be about. This is called your thesis statement. Highlight it in yellow.
2. If you did not write one sentence to explain what your essay will be about, ask yourself, "What do I want my reader to learn from my essay?" Now, write the answer in one sentence at the beginning of your essay.
Example:
Before Revision: The Redwood National Forest in California has many hiking and biking trails.
Frank's Strategy: I wrote details about California, but I did not write a sentence that explains what my essay will be about.
After Revision: The Redwood National Forest in California is a spectacular place to visit.
Frank's Reflection: I wrote one sentence that clearly states what my essay will be about.
Revision Goal 2: Understand and write for your audience.
1.Read the prompt and find the audience. Are you writing for friends and students, for parents or other adults, or for newspaper readers?
2.Make sure the words you wrote in your essay are appropriate for your audience. For example, if you are writing to adults, you should NOT use slang or contractions.
Example:
Before Revision: I wanna go hiking in the Redwood National Forest. And after that I dunno. Maybe I will chill on a park bench.
Frank's Strategy: I used slang words, "wanna," "dunno," and "chill." I need to replace these with more formal language because I am writing to adults.
After Revision: I want to go hiking in the Redwood National Forest. After hiking, I may relax on a park bench.
Frank's Reflection: I replaced slang words with more formal words, "want to" and "relax."
Holistic Feedback Report
Overall
STUDENT09, on a scale of one to six, your response to this assignment was rated a 4. Your response was evaluated on the basis of how well it communicates its message considering important areas of writing including focus and meaning, content and development, organization, language use and style, and conventions and mechanics.
A response that receives a score of four adequately communicates its message. Typically, a response at this level has a reasonably clear purpose evident, though the presentation may stray from the controlling point and may lack focus and cohesion. A response at this level typically shows reasonable support of ideas with adequate use of examples, but may lack supporting detail or specificity. The response shows reasonable organization with an apparent pattern of ideas presented in a logical order. The sentence structure is generally free of errors and shows some variety in presentation. Usage and word choice are generally effective. The response is generally free of mechanical errors such as spelling and punctuation, though some small errors may be present that do not significantly interfere with the communication of the message.
A more detailed analysis of your response is provided for each of the five important writing areas below.
Writing Analysis
Your response was also evaluated in terms of five important traits of writing, focus and meaning, content and development, organization, language use and style and mechanics and conventions. Each of the five areas was evaluated on a scale ranging from one to six.
